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In Soviet Couchfukistan, couch fucks you!

When her husband bought them a week on a private island, she whispered a fantasy in his ear. “Chased and fucked? For reals?”

He gave her exactly what she asked for. Not a peep of safeword was heard. And a good time was had by all.

This is 1950s stripper Jenny Lee, with her dance outfit removed by modern digital tools:

Via ErosBlog.

Ever wonder what goes on during all those “intelligence briefings”? Now you know:

Via Kinky Delight.

A hundred years ago, newspaper cartoonists and vice-presidents were in agreement that what this country needed was a good five-cent cigar. Today, there’s nothing wrong that a good fifty-cent blowjob wouldn’t fix:

Patriotism, American-style:

She’s already in the guillotine, the basket ready to catch her head.

Doesn’t it seem superfluous to give her executioner a whip?

These two vampire hunters have made a catch, and before they stake her, they are enjoying her:

From Vampire Realm by Lady Heather.

If the unicorn is angry, she’s not as pure as she claimed to be:

Via Kinky Delight.

“Let’s see… Your lechery line is connected to your fat wallet, your sensuality line (very thick!) is connected straight to your pecker, and you’re about to ask me for a private reading in my tent. How am I doing so far?”

This disastrous evening is the result of what proves to have been not her best moment ever on that dodgy dating site:

Yesterday she started the laundry and the dishwasher while he was in the shower. Now he’s having his revenge. “Cold shower, bitch! How do you like it now?”

Photo is actually from a lesbian shower scene at Water Bondage.

“All right ladies, who’s ready for a spanking?”

Ouch that’s got to smart. And she’s going to need a merkin!

The taxi driver told her “Ass, cash, or grass — nobody rides for free.” And she was fresh out of cash and grass:

Via Kinky Delight.

The cat is not happy about this!

Photographer is Abby Gennet according to this.

Dirty mouth? Clean it up!

Ever wonder why festival food is always a long cylinder that comes on a stick? Well, wonder no longer!

Artwork is by Dofantasy artist Montal.

Eight naked girls on a dock. Now everybody raise your hands, this is a raid!

Confederate flags are being taken down wherever they are found. This is a good thing:

Don’t know how to spank her like Christian Grey does? Sounds like you need a trip to Kink University’s spanking classes!

One supposes there might be a medical justification for this hospital prostate milking. But if so, why is the nurse looking around nervously and not wearing any pants or panties?

Snapping people with rubber bands is very 4th-grade, right? But not if you have them tied up naked and are snapping the tender parts of their pussies:

That’s gotta hurt! From Sadistic Rope.

Well, if not completely naked, at least she’s half nude. Topless. Bare breasted. Showing the bazongas. You get me, dig? She was making a movie, and the director pressured her. She says she was hungry.

A girl who is sufficiently talented (and eager to please) will learn to curl her tongue even when she’s wearing a ring gag. She can’t stop her dom from shoving his dick in her mouth, but she can make it feel better when he does:

From Hard Tied.

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to get a hand job from a milkmaid?

After all, a milkmaid is a skilled professional when it comes to squeezing things and making white stuff come out.

Tied up, he’s helpless to resist as they hold industrial-strength Magic Wand vibrators on both sides of the head of his dick. Soon his balls will be empty and straining to squirt for a fourth time…

“Hairy butthole” is what it says on the tin and hairy butthole is precisely what the link delivers.

Bawdy people, I am OLD. But not so old that I do not remember things. One of the things I remember is that Wikipedia used to have an article about Tubgirl. This entry was slightly misnamed; in fact the article was an exhaustive (for its time) essay on all the infamous shock sites of the day.

That article is not there today. It’s not even visible in the revision history; the current redirect at https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Tubgirl was created in 2008, presumably to replace the page after previous deletion. And sadly, the Wikipedia entry for shock site is a pale shadow of the article I remember. There are literally only four examples given, which is explained in the talk page as the result of Wikipedia’s modern fetish for deleting anything that hasn’t been discussed in Very Serious Media — an unlikely event considering the content.

Eventually, it was decided that (as per Wikipedia policy), any shock site should actually be backed up by references. This resulted in the list being slimmed down greatly. Some of the original sites (such as the original, non-commercial meatspin.com, and tubgirl, did not survive the slimming down, as although they were the ‘original’ shock sites, not just the ‘me-too’ ones, they did not have any references whatsoever.

Ideally, on Wikipedia, all the sources should either be from BBC news / similiar quality sites (with the proviso that they are not just ‘the story of the day’, but news articles which have lasting impact e.g. a large earthquake etc), or even better from peer-reviewed journals.

For the shock sites article, the chances of finding references on major news sites, or in a peer-reviewed journal, are minimal. While these types of references are the MOST verifiable / reliable, it should be noted that verifiability / reliability is of course a spectrum; and we cannot always obtain references / sources at the purest / best end of that spectrum. There have been discussions by moderators in the past on this page, and it has been noted that we cannot expect broadsheet newspaper or peer-reviewed journal sources for this article, we will not accept personal blogs, or links to other lists of shock sites, or references containing only very tenuous links to the site (although this last category of reference can be useful).

In revolt against that particular narrow-minded culture-destroying flavor of killjoy insanity, I went looking for an archive of the old Tubgirl article, the one with the hugely detailed list of shock sites and much nostalgic internet history in it. Fortunately, I was able to find a 2005-vintage copy in somebody’s outdated clickfarming website, that I could restore fairly easily by doing a copypasta that elided all their targeted-keyword advertising links. From clues in text, I think it’s plain that many editors were treating this as if it were a general “shock sites” entry.

So, in the interest of internet culture preservation, here’s a copy of the 2005(ish) Wikipedia entry for “Tubgirl”:

Read the rest of this entry »

Bondage Blog has been posting about the ultimate automatic and perpetual blowjob machine. Here’s what the creator of the device, Matt Williams, has to say about it on his blog:

I came up with the idea for this device. It’s essentially a fucking machine, but designed for a guy. Just strap your favorite little girl in there and bam! Automatic blowjob machine! It moves her head back and forth on your cock. I suggest adding a ring gag for full helplessness…

This restaurant has a unique program for encouraging self-improvement among the wait staff. They call it back-ally blowjob duty and how it works is, every week the waitress who put the least amount into the tip pool the previous week gets staked out like this in the alley behind the restaurant. They leave a tip jar out there, so if she does a good job, she won’t get stuck out there two weeks in a row.

All the best kinky sites where you can find them!

Kinky Delight says she must have had a potty-mouth:

But for that, you’d think mouth soaping was the more appropriate response!

What’s more fun than a bondage porn star wearing a ring gag with centipedes crawling on her face?

Ever wish you had three cute girls in maid outfits kneeling at your feet to pamper you and serve your every whim? No? How about if one of them was Penny Pax?

Curious about how to program your submissive so that she orgasms at your command? This Girl says it can be done!

If you’re going to play Scrabble with reanimated body parts, there’s no point wearing any clothes, is there?

Yahoo bought Tumblr. {everybody cries} Tumblr’s already locked away all the porn blogs so they can’t be searched or archived. Maybe it’s time to back up your adult Tumblr before Yahoo kills it completely? Here’s how:

As a general proposition, one should usually instruct one’s electronic robot spider minions to follow robots.txt rules; unruly robot spiders are a menace to the internet and to web servers everywhere. But this principle of polite internet behavior assumes that you haven’t had your own data locked behind the hostile barbed wire of some corporate data-silo forced-labor camp where the robots.txt has been put in place to hide your porny visage so that the corporate camp commissars will look prettier in the pages of Forbes Magazine and the Wall Street Journal. When it’s your data, you’re perfectly within your moral rights to ignore the robots.txt in order to extricate it; and so that’s what we’re going to do here…

This YouTube video features a blonde tasering her own pussy (through her panties) for reasons unclear. Ouchies…

Uh, oh! We have news that the justly-famous Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator almost got discontinued by Hitachi. It’s been rescued by the US distributor, but the Hitachi brand name will be coming off the product. Henceforth, it will be known as “The Original Magic Wand.”

Phew! That was a close one!

She was topless in the French version of an Italian movie, way back in 1951. Yay Sophia Loren titties!

The Mongol hordes conquered most of Asia and a big chunk of Europe. They liked taking slaves among their conquered peoples. This is a comic book vision of what it looked like.

Not what you think, even if it does go all over her face.

She’s the guest of honor at a bukkake party in Spain:

Just a mechanical arm, and a yardstick. What won’t she promise after ten minutes on this thing?

Cherubs peeing into fountains? No, the Romans knew how to go for it: goat-fucking!

Awesome photos of a very special heist gone wrong … and yet also, deliciously right!

Really there’s no better use for a roll of duct tape.

How long can your girlfriend hold this yoga pose? Mine can hold it forever… at least if the rope doesn’t break.

The rope marks on her boobs may give you a clue as to why Alice Frost looks so frickin’ happy in this picture:

Vintage lesbian erotica proves that the double-ended dildo is an ancient invention:

They are “a painful detail that’s barely noticed because of what’s going on with the riding crop or the hot wax or the complicated business with the cables and the pulley and the donkey.”

From ErosBlog.

The sultan likes to know that his prized racing camel is being very well taken care of:

From Kinky Delight.

Not a bad way to cool down in the summer!

Lesbian S&M, cartoon style!